The famous first words uttered by Ray when the first three Ghostbusters (Pre unlicense positron-colliders) when they encountered the first, and one of the most memorable ghostss in the movie(s). (I mean…let’s be serious here. The second one wasn’t nothing to scoff at, but it was hard pressed to top the original.)

With two sucessful films, a very very sucessful animated series, and wave after wave of great toys, and even better “role playing” gear. (I mean..who didn’t have the ghost trap, proton pack and pke meter? I know I did…) The only thing that never quite hit the mark…alright they down right sucked…was the games.

Now…don’t get me wrong. I DO own Ghostbusters II for the NES, and sadly…it’s cheap, and too repetitive. I mean…hell AVGN covered that over at Cinnemasacre. Let’s not touch the badly taken relaunch of the series along the same time they decided to relaunch all the good titles. Transformers (Armada) He-Man (2000 - because it ran through the same name, no subname) TMNT (the official relaunch name of the Ninja Turtles, and then……and then…and yes…and then…you have “Extreme” Ghostbusters. My memories of it are shady at best, but I don’t remember it too fondly. I have since picked up the entire series and will be reviewing it soon.

Hopefully, it’s like Beast Machines - the sequel to Beast Wars. At the time, I hated it with a goddamn passion, but now…I absolutely love it. The story is way ahead of it’s time, and is directed more towards the higher end of the age spectrum. Soon to come on all that though…this is about one thing…and one thing only…

A Ghost.

With a huge red international “no no” sign slapped across it.

Yes.

Ghostbusters.

The game.

You can burn out all memories of any shitty Ghostbusters related games right nwo and just revel in this one. You know once you pop the disc in and you hear it kicking up…it’s going to be epic.

I’ll try not to ruin the story for those who haven’t played it but let’s just say that I’ve been playing for just under about 3 hours and “holyyyyyyyyyyyy shit” comes to mind. All our favorite toys come back. The basic ghost trap, and the slime gun. As well as two new little guys, that you’ll love. Each direction on the directional pad (360 wise) can access any of the four configurations on the new era packs.

I have to say…it’s just awesome straight from the get go. Slimer is shown in the main area of the firehouse and he is doing ESP with the cards (a throw back to the first movie), and then get’s pissed off when he get’s it wrong. Even my five year old thought this was hilarious. For reasons I can’t say he of course get’s lose, and you chase him around the firehouse as a “training level”.

Here, many may be appalled to know that you do NOT play as one of the BIG four, but that just adds to the character of the game so much more. You’re referred to as the “new guy”, the “rookie”, etc. It just builds up into it. For the short time I’ve played I’ve actually felt like I’ve become part of the team.

I’ve actually brought my system on vacation with me just so I could play it. Every time I start playing and my eye lids get heavy I have to play just a bit longer. I wanna see what’s next.
It’s not a “random” ghostbusting game. It all is part of a story. Technically it CAN be considered Ghostbusters III. All the voice actors are in TOP form. The smart assed womanizing remarks of Venkman are there. The over the top speedy delivery of what just happened to you from Ray appear. The smirk and know it all, but down to earth Egon brings it home, but we can’t forget Winston. His patened “I’ve seen shit that will turn you WHITE” attitude hits the mix. The rookie, so far in the game is silent, but he does give looks that are spot on to Venkman and rolls his eyes..which…

Damn…because that is what I was doing sitting on the Hotel room bed.

I’ve seen people bitching about this game much in the same way they’ve bitched about the Transformers 2 movie. (I’ll be sure to touch on that in a later, much longer post…) but I’ll tell you this…

NO FUCKING SHIT IT HAS A LEARNING CURVE. YOU’RE BUSTING GHOSTS. This isn’t a pick it up and play for the fuck of it game. This is a “goddamn busting makes me feel good” game. Your basic proton pack has two beams. The standard burn the fuck out of shit beam. And then the Ghost Wrangling Beam.

You wear the ghost down with the first one, then it will auto switch (I prefer to manually switch) to wrangling. Wrangling is the fun part. You grab’em, and they pull and fly every which way. You pull the opposite way and your slam meter fills up. You pull the trigger and slam them…that takes some of the fight out of them. After about the first or second slam I throw out the trap and slam them around as I move them into it…then…as the trap opens..you have to fight and keep them into the area of effect. Then…shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooop.

One trap can hold many ghosts. Bitch all you want…you’ll be thankful of it as it goes along. It also has a nice little beam of light emitting from the trap to show you where it’s at.

Overall, the music is perfect. You have the theme. then you have the standard Ghostbusters style music ensemble. It fits. Perfect.

The controls are very well done, and the phsyics are fucking as close to perfect as you can get for busting ghosts. One thing I’ve noticed is that when you’re laden with equipment..you can’t jump high at all. More like a quick bounce. No problem. The same effect is there when you’re not geared up as well, but come on…that’s a minor bitch. The graphics are damn good. The voice acting is spot on. I’ve read of people complaining about Murray’s job of voice acting and so far I’ve seen them just looking to poke holes into the game. It sounds just like him from the movies. The pseudo-suave, poser smooth “doctor venkman”.

Another complaint I’ve seen is your “teammates” and shit. You fall down, they come and grab you up as soon as they can. Sometimes it takes a few seconds. Big fucking fat hairy deal. You’ve got four - five people busting many ghosts, or maybe a boss ghost with many sub ghosts and it takes them a second to get over to revive you. Get over it. Minor complaints.
One that really really REALLY get’s on my tits is “you have to vent your pack”!!! Yeah? So? For those of you who don’t know, your pack shows your health, as well as it’s temperature. It can overheat. You can purchase multiple upgrades for better control, more power, etc. Your pack can and will overheat. This makes you think about taking shots and when to take a second to hit the bumper button to vent it which immediately cools it. It takes a second to perform, but it adds a bit of strategy to the game as well.

Makes it more realistic.

As realistic as you can get playing a GAME about CAPTURING GHOSTS.

To be honest it makes it feel less cheap. I’d be pissed off if you could just hold down the trigger and have no repercussions. It takes away from the fun of it.

This game will make every man, woman and child want to bust ghosts, watch the original movies, and break out the old VHS bootlegs or downloads of the original cartoon series.

I’m in love with the game Prototype, and it’s officially been put on hold until this game is whored out.

Which also leads me to say that I do have the “cartoony version” for the DS and it’s just as good taking into account the miniscule size and cartoon visuals.

Finally, a game that is as addicting as the movies, cartoons and toys themselves…

I give this game 10 pirated copies of the animated series out of 10. Just based on effort, visuals, story, controls and sound alone. The “minor drawback” of having to vent the pack, and the “learning curve” and such that I’ve seen bitched about is a bunch of bullshit just picked on to drag the game down by shitty players or even worse, shittier game reviewers who are a bunch of sackriders for their favorite brand. They fall into the same catagory that bitched about Metallica’s newest album “DEATH MAGNETIC” being “too loud!!!”…

I mean…come on…

It’s fucking Metallica. It’s heavy metal. It’s supposed to be loud. Ignorant bastards need something to bitch about. Find something useful to bitch about…like standing in line waiting for medicine that SHOULD be readily available on the shelf. Like the lack of good prizes in the boxes of cereal…

Oh wait…already been done…

Damn I’m good!!

Oh! And…

Mind you this is my opinion, and if you don’t like it feel free to respond. Hell. Call into the Show’s voicemail and leave a message. 1 - 888 - DOWN - FCC. Leave your message, and if you want a number. We’ll call you live on the show and have a chat about it. It’ll make good listening. heh. detuned.axalonstudios.com

~M.

I was wondering, when Monday rolled around, why I was starting to feel odd. Not sick. Headaches, but that is normal for me anymore. It didn’t click, until I looked at the date.

June.

The 22nd.

The headaches always gain momentum leading up to this day. I get into a deep deep funk. I’m normally a ball of boundless energy, but this time every year I tend to get grounded out. It’s like I’m flying circles around the world and an anchor spews forth from the earth and wraps around the recesses of my mind and pulls me into a nosedive. Anywhere from 3 to 5 days leading up to this, I feel useless. Utterly and Totally Useless. A waste.

Today is the day. The 24th. As I write this, Van Halen’s 1984 album washes over me like an auditory baptism. It does wonders not only for my mind, but my body, my soul. A connection to my Dad. One of the few that I have and treasure.

9 years to the day. Just when we started actually getting along like father and son, (Dare I say, even friends?), he was no longer a part of this world I’m in.

9 long years. It never gets easy. I say time and again, time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just makes the scars fade slightly with each passing.
My mind is a jumble of everything.

An enigmatic mess.

I want to run away like I did that night. Screaming no. Crying out to anyone and anything. Not when we were so close. Not when I finally had my goddamn Dad. After all those years in hell with him and his abuse, just when things felt like they should’ve been all along….

Seems like a cruel twist of the knife that Lady Fate wields.

I had to smarten up and grow up really fast. Try to lead by example for my brother. That was 9 years ago.

All the things that Dad missed. All my birthday parties his temper ruined. All the promises he broke. All the beatings I took trying to protect Christopher…

In the end…he did help me decide who I was. He did have an impact of a meteor on the earth of my heart. In his own way. He loved me. I know this. He couldn’t be a father to me just then…but I learned any how.

He taught me who I didn’t want to be like. I still carry the scars of a terrible anger and even sometimes hatred inside me. Every time I look into my reflection….I see the receding hairline, and the thinning spot on my crown.

Every time I listen to a song. Every time I air drum. Every time I pick up the sticks for real. Every time I do something I’m proud of. Every time Chloe does something funny, or smart assed…

I think…

“You old bastard. I wish you were here. Not to see the biggest accomplishments….but the little ones.”

“Every time I place your drumstick bag on the floor tom, I kiss it and mumble something about you.”

“Every time I take your drumkey out and spin it and twirl it. Every time I panic at misplacing it.”

I think how much I miss my Dad. How much he really did for me. All the negative shit is nothing when the light shines on the few and far between good times.

The giggle I let out that got me a nice ass busting from Mom, when you put the practice pad on your head.

Jamming with Christopher with our toy guitars while you played drums.

Having you show me how to tune a drum properly.

How you taught me to be a man in your own way…it may have not been the right way…but it was your way, and ultimately I wouldn’t be who I am without it.

I love you Dad. I miss you more and more each year. Tomorrow I do my Online Radio Show. Technically today. The 24th. 9 years to the day.

This one is for you old man…

Michael Ray

It’s quite simple.

It started off as questions being asked at local shows.

Then the rumor mill cranked up to 11 of the “band” having talks about getting together.

Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Until finally, one of us send a message to each other. Something along the lines of “Did you mention something about 86 getting back together?”

No.

Did you?

No.

Hmmm…

After many more questions, and messages shot back and forth…we can honestly say that the rumors are finally true.

Yes.

Warehouse 86 is back together. This is it. The official confirmation.

We all know you’re wondering who the line up is. Well, I’ll tell you:

Dickie
Josh
Sexton
And myself..that sexy beast…Smalley.

The discussion was done at pool side (where all important discussions SHOULD be held, and from there, we talked about all the details. We confirmed first off that NO. None of us started the rumors, but we all heard of them.

And YES, it does sound like a good idea. We also discussed the songs we wanted to carry over through our various incarnations. (Hopefully this is the last and final… )

Broken List
Dirge
Shiftless
Black Eyes
Forsaken
Bloodshot (Only ever heard live.)

We plan on rewriting and tweaking with Shiftless, Blackeyes, and Forsaken. While having cowrote the lyrics with Nicole, we have the utmost respect for her and wish to not stomp on her feet.

And my oh my…that looks like a long enough list for a live gig doesn’t it? Sometime in the near future???

YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!!

I’m Michael Smalley. That’s ESS EMM AA Double-L EE WHY. Some call me Michael, some call me Smalls, some call me Smalley.

However a lot call me asshole, bastard, fucker, and “goddamn you”.

I’m 27 years old, with a 5 year old daughter who acts more mature than me at times. I’ve got a wife that tries to keep me on a leash but luckily I got a contact that puts the file in the cake at the factory.

I collect Transformers…and by collect I mean spend all my money on them I mean..well…most of you know what I mean. It doesn’t stop there. I collect anything I think is cool, or unusual. A home made shelf statue from Goodwill. A set of prosthetic legs, legal actions.

But mainly transformers.

I have a shit ton of dvds, and games. I have frogs that are named Yakko, Whacko, and a snail named dot. Recently added was a new frog named Reginald, and another “blue” snail named Hector. He looked like a Hector. All thuggish. He was flashing his gang sign colors at me in the store.

I have a read eared sliding turtle named Bowser, and 1 out of 4 goldfish that was supposed to be his dinner that I ended up naming Clyde. 4 Cats. They’re all assholes. And a dog Named C.J.

I am a student at ITT in their online courses for Web Design and Development, and I run a radio station on the side. I have my own radioshow entitled Detuned that airs every Wed. 9pm EST. That was indeed a fucking plug.

I love to read. I will devour at least two novels a week. Both at once. Yes. I’m a bathroom reader. I will sit and shit on the toilet for an hour or more, and enjoy my reading time while I let out some of the nastiest, stinkiest excrement this side of any horror movie director’s dream!

I play WoW, and I’m proud of it. Level 80 Druid bitches! I also play NES, SNES, GENESIS, ATARI and anything else I can get my grubby little paws on including the newest gen systems.

I’m an asshole. I’m a prick. I’m a loudmouthed cocksucker.
But I say please, thank you, yes sir, and no ma’am.
I hold the door open for people, but don’t be surprised if I get shitty if you act like you’re entitled to anything.

I’m a drummer. Been a drummer since as far back as I can remember. My dad played. I play. Simple. I’m a Grampa’s boy who would wash my mouth out with soap for the preceding paragraph.

I’m a friend of many, and an enemy of few. If you’re my enemy send me a message…we’ll hook up.. ya know what I mean? BBQ out…maybe go see a movie.

I’m a smart ass.

I write rants in my spare time to post on my webpage theaxalon.com, and I’m a lazy fuck and repost them here for more hits and to get them around more…like this one!

I’m lazy. I’ll send my wife a message on MSN and ask her to bring me a soda if I’m caught up in something. Worse yet, I’ve called her cellphone to do it.

I’m falling apart on the right side of my body.
I’ve had two shoulder surgeries.
My hip is dislocating.
I’ve got a pinched Sciatic Nerve

Oh…

And I’ve been stabbed in the temple with a small hunting knife.

All on the right side.

I’ve done my fair share of fucking up in life, and hope that I don’t fuck up my daughters, just by being her father. I’ve been accused of being a bad Dad by letting her watch movies such as Terminator, Robocop, and Nightmare on Elm Street.

I censor the boner parts as best I can. All I can say is hey! Goddamn it. I watched them growing up and I’m not going around killing people!!

I hate cheap imitation offbrand food. Sam’s American Choice ™ Cola is NOT the fucking same thing as a Coke. Period.

In closing, I’ll use a quote that a good friend, Roy Chilton that was quoted from the Rocky Horror Picture show:
“It’s not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache! ”

~Smalley