Seriously.

You’re not feeling well. You wake up one morning feeling like you swallowed a goddamned porcupine ass first, or worse yet, been face fucked with a fucking 20 inch cock wearing a 20 grit sandpaper condom. What do you do?

Well. You know that the standard over the counter garbage isn’t going to fix this. This is beyond a normal blah feeling. This is THROAT RAPE!

You goto the doctor.

You sign in. They fuck you. Co-pay. Mother fuckers. That’s what fucking health insurance is for!!!

You goto the little triage station, they get your weight, blood pressure, temperature, blood type, sexual preference, position preference, smoke, drink, eat dicks, suck dicks, blow dicks, eat a boatload of ass fuck.

Lemme think. Umm..well. The weight, blood pressure, and temp I can understand. WHAT IN THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE OTHER FUCKING QUESTIONS!?! Shit hasn’t changed since I was last in there fucking 3 weeks ago you stupid fucks! FUCKING SHIT! In three weeks I’ve suddenly taken an urge to try and beat Dylan at the cocksucking championship. Yeah..that’s me alright! FUCK YOU GODDAMN IT! TAKE ME TO MY ROOM! Oh wait. They ask what’s wrong with you. Well, I’m not feeling well. I’ve been throat raped by a dildo dipped in glue and coated in shattered glass. Yeah..well I woke up this way. I think someone slipped me a mickey!!!

Alright…we’re in the roo…what the fuck is that? Hell no. Last time I got something jammed down my throat it left me in the current condition. Now they wanna take throat cultures. AWESOME! Not one…not two..but THREE. Goddamn bastards are getting off on this shit, I just know it. Oh boy!!! *CLICK*  There goes a gallon of fucking blood. Right out of my finger. Come on. Anyone need a blood transfusion. I’m type FUCKYOU.

So yeah. I’m exaggerating all of this shit to a point. But they’re constantly fucking you every which way. At least one of the nurses is honest. Time for a shot. The conversation went exactly like this:
Me: Shot?
Her: Shot.
Me: Ass?
Her: Ass.
*stab*

That was it. None of that Hip bullshit. If it’s meaty and I sit on it. It’s my fucking ass. My hips are the bony protrusions on my waistlines you fucks!

All this is is just a means to an end however. We get the prescriptions for the medications at home. They just have to jab that dick in one more good hard time.

The fucking antibiotic pills they gave me are fucking huge. Seriously. I just measured them using my Ibuprofen tablets. They’re two tablets long, and just roughly under two tablets high. Why would you give someone who’s having trouble to swallow, something that’s fucking hard to swallow when everything is ok? Seriously. A fucking pornstar would choke on these fucking things!!!

I think the fucking doctors are closet masochists and filthy sadists!